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When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles......they call this a muddle puddle tweetle poodle beetle noodle bottle paddle battle.

Dr. Seuss, Fox in Socks

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...in winter his private balls were numerous enough for any young lady who was not suffering under the insatiable appetite of fifteen.

Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

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Jittery as a cockroach on a girdle.

T. Coraghessan Boyle, A Friend of the Earth

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An animated merkin.

infinitely meretricious.

Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

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Full fathom five thy father lies.

William Shakespeare The Tempest

Your father's corpse is 9.144 metres below sea level.

Mark Forsyth, The elements of eloquence

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Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word solitude to express the glory of being alone.

Paul Tillich

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She smelled the way the Taj Mahal looks by moonlight.

Raymond Chandler, The Little Sister

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Moanday, tearday, wailsday, thumpsday, frightday, shatterday, shunday.

James Joyce, Finnegans Wake

The sea, the snotgreen sea, the scrotumtightening sea.

James Joyce, Ulysses

I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.

The different branches of Arithmetic -- Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.

Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"

"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.

"I don't much care where – " said Alice.

"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.

" – so long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation.

"Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

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There's no fool like a fool who thinks he's charming.

Then she laughed, deep and elegant, like the riches susurruses of a mink coat being casually dragged down a marble staircase.

James Crumley, The last good kiss

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He sighed, long and solemn, like an old horse farting.

George MacDonald Fraser, Flashman and the tiger

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You are a dribble of piss in a tramp's trousers.

Private Eye 1408

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('Much he knew about it himself!') said Miss Betsey in a parenthesis.

...in the enjoyment of salubrity (Mr Micawber)

Mrs Micawber has not yet been solicited to plight her faith at the Hymeneal altar.

Under the temporary pressure of pecuniary liabilities.

lawyers, sharks, and leeches, are not easily satisfied (Uriah Heep)

Charles Dickens, David Copperfield

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“Sit down, my dear,” said Mr Jarndyce. “This, you must know, is the growlery. When I am out of humour, I come and growl here.”

“You must be here very seldom, sir,” said I.

“O, you don’t know me!” he returned.

Charles Dickens, Bleak House