From BBC Radio 4 I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue
And so, as the...
...Ford Anglia of time fails the MOT test of eternity, and the dappled donkey of fate ambles towards the abbatoir of destiny...
...frisky tom-cat of fate confronts the scalpel of destiny, and the precious natural woodland of time meets the motorway extension of eternity...
...little Andrex puppy of time scampers onto the busy dual carriageway of destiny, and the extra strong meat vindaloo of fate confronts the 'Toilet Out Of Order' sign of eternity...
...relentless juggernaut of time runs over the final hedgehog of hope, and the last traffic cone of fate is removed from the student bedsit of destiny...
...delicate mayfly of time collides with the speeding windscreen of fate, and the angry wasp of destiny flies up the trouser leg of despair...
...loose-bowelled pigeon of time swoops low over the tourist of destiny, and the unlicensed minicab of fate gets lost in the one-way system of eternity...
...BMX Roadster of time collides with the erratic minicab of fate, and the unprotected crotch of hope slams hard against the crossbar of destiny...
...rare Bengal tiger of time meanders into the cross-hair sights of Prince Philip's fateful pump-action shot gun...
...sleepy toad of time confronts the whirling hover-mower of destiny, and the unsuspecting dog of complacency cocks a leg at the electric fence of fate...
...plump juicy earwig of time burrows into the uncapped toothpaste of destiny, and the hairy spider of fate lurks hungrily under the toilet seat of eternity...
...flatulent skunk of time wanders into the air conditioning system of eternity, and the piranha fish of fate circles hungrily in the bidet of destiny...
...great tit of time nibbles through the gold top of eternity, and the unseen mouse droppings of fate nestle in the crunchy fruit-and-nut muesli of destiny...
...red-red-robin of time goes bob-bob-bobbing under the snowplough of eternity, and the sage and onion stuffing mixture of fate is rammed up the eternally unfrozen turkey of damnation...
...sands of time blow up the trunks of destiny, and the grit of fate lodges uncomfortably in the winkle of despair...
...rare field mouse of time cannons out of the combine harvester of destiny, and the grey squirrel of fate nibbles hungrily at the nuts of eternity...
...tide of time laps up against the sewage outflow of destiny, and the wind of change begins to pervade the lift of eternity...
...plastic cup of time fails to emerge from the vending machine of destiny, and the scalding coffee substitute of fate splashes onto the unsuspecting crotch of eternity...
...irritating caraway seed of fate is removed by the dental floss of destiny...
...squirrel of time nibbles on the nuts of eternity, while the irritated bulldog of destiny tries to shake him off...
...Argentinian boot stud of time confronts the second meta-tarsal of eternity, and the England squad of uncertainty goes out in the second round of inevitability...
...hamster of time spins round on the wheel of eternity, and the lorry driver of fate makes a mental note to scrape it off later...
...twin buttocks of time struggle onto the photocopier of eternity, and the tipsy secretary of fate fends off the managing director of destiny...
...fluff-ball of time pops out of the navel of destiny, and the nylon underpants of fate ride uncomfortably up the cleft of despair...
...housewife of time adjusts her lipstick in the mirror of destiny, and the cyclist of fate disappears under her speeding four-by-four...
...fluffy new-born chick of hope tumbles from the egg shell of life and splashes into the hot frying pan of doom...
...meatball of time congeals in the gravy of destiny, and the swede of fate is mashed in the queue to get out of Ikea...
...lemmings of fate run over the crumbling cliff of eternity, and the Shadows try to shoo them off...
...4x4 of destiny on the level crossing of fate, stalls in the path of the speeding freight train of doom, and the signalman of time rushes to fetch his camera...
...goldfish of time swims round the bowl of fate, before being flushed round the U-bend of eternity...
...playful puppy of time bounds after the toilet tissue of destiny, and the handle of fate flushes him round the U-bend of doom...
...it's the end of the show.